10 Phrases People Use That Could Signal Hidden Motives

We’ve all heard phrases that sound harmless, but sometimes, there’s more going on behind the words. Some phrases can reveal hidden motives, even if they seem innocent at first. In this listicle, we’ll uncover 10 common phrases people use that might signal they’re trying to influence, manipulate, or control a situation—without you even realizing it.

“I’m just being honest.”

It’s always cool when someone’s upfront, right? But when they start with “I’m just being honest,” it could be their way of getting you ready for something that might sting a little. It’s like a shield—so if it hurts, they can say they warned you before. We’re sure that they’re going to say something you don’t like. 

“It’s just a suggestion, but…”

Now, this one is sneaky. When someone uses “just a suggestion,” they might be trying to make you feel like you have all the power to make the decision. But in reality, they’re pushing you in the same direction they want you to go. You may feel at that time like it’s your own choice, but it’s their way of guiding you without appearing bossy.

“I’ll let you decide.”

This phrase sounds like a fair way to give someone control. However, it can be a way of shifting the responsibility without the speaker having to make any decisions themselves. It’s like when someone says, “You pick the restaurant,” but then makes a face if you don’t choose the one they secretly wanted. The hidden motive? They want you to make the call so they can’t be blamed if things don’t go the way they hope.

“No offense, but…”

You’ve probably noticed how people often say, “No offense, but…” right before dropping a comment that’s bound to hit below the belt. The phrase is like a permission slip to say something harsh. They may not be genuinely trying to hurt you, but they’re softening the blow for themselves in case things go south (which is mostly the case).

“I’m not trying to manipulate you, but…”

This phrase is like a red flag wrapped in a bow. When people say they’re not trying to manipulate you, that’s exactly what they’re probably doing. They make their words sound harmless while secretly leading you toward what benefits them. It’s like a magician saying, “I’m not trying to trick you,” just before pulling off their best illusion.

“I didn’t mean to, but it just happened.”

This one’s a smooth way of avoiding responsibility. When someone says, “It just happened,” they’re trying to downplay their role in a situation. It’s a form of deflection that allows them to look blameless, even if they might have made a conscious choice. It can also be a sign they’re trying to avoid any confrontation about their actions.

“This isn’t about you, but…”

When someone says, “This isn’t about you,” it means the opposite. It IS about you. They’re about to hit you with something that might make you feel defensive, and this phrase is just their way of softening the blow. It’s like when someone says they’re not criticizing you and then immediately follows it up with a criticism. How uncool. 

“I think you’ll be fine with it.”

The person saying this might be trying to make you feel like saying yes is no big deal. But in reality, they’re trying to push you into agreeing by brushing off any concerns you might have. It’s like when someone says, “Trust me, it’ll be fun!” when they’re just trying to get you on board with something that’s definitely not your idea of fun.

“Everyone is saying…”

This phrase appeals to the power of the crowd. It’s meant to make you feel everyone agrees, so you should, too. But in reality, it’s often a tactic to pressure you into going along with the majority opinion—even if the “everyone” they’re referring to is more like a handful of people. If you disagree, the speaker might want you to feel like you’re the odd one out.

“I only want what’s best for you.”

This phrase looks selfless, but sometimes, it hides a more controlling side. When people say this, they might try to convince you that their way is the only right one, covering up their wants as if they’re just looking out for you. They might seem caring, but their real motive is to steer your choices in a way that benefits them while making it look like it’s all about you.