Jace Lamonica
When your senses are already in overdrive, the wrong words can make everything harder. Even well-meaning phrases can shut someone down or make them feel like their experience doesn’t matter. This list breaks down 10 things people often say without realizing how much they hurt—and why choosing different words can make a huge difference.
“You’re Just Overreacting”
When you say, “You’re just overreacting,” to a sensitive person, it stings. Not because they’re sensitive but because it ignores what’s real for them. Such phrases replace compassion with critique. Instead of calm reassurance, they get emotional distance—right when closeness could make the difference.
“Calm Down, It’s Not That Serious”
Telling a person to “calm down” when their senses are on fire does the opposite—it inflames. By using this, you deny their reality, suggesting signals from their body are false. That disconnect feeds panic in a person, plus they start to feel unsafe not just in the world but in their own skin.
“You Need To Get Used To It”
Sensory overload doesn’t build tolerance but destroys resilience. The human brain doesn’t adapt through repetition of chaos. Each episode wires deeper stress responses, not strength. This phrase misunderstands how the nervous system encodes trauma.
“Can’t You Just Ignore It?”
“Can’t you just ignore it?” This oversimplification feels like a slap. But when the world feels like it’s shouting, there’s no volume knob. That question turns pain into a personal failure. It isolates, not because of the noise—but because someone chose not to understand.
“Why Are You Acting So Weird?”
Labeling someone’s behavior as “weird” can create unnecessary discomfort. It turns a person’s sensory sensitivity into a public issue, causing them to feel self-conscious. What might be an instinctive reaction now feels like a spectacle, making it harder for them to express needs or trust others.
“You Don’t Look Like You Have A Disorder”
Not all disorders have visual signatures. Sensory conditions often hide behind regulation tactics, not tantrums. Dismissing someone because they “look fine” ignores the daily work it takes to seem that way. Comfort shouldn’t require visible pain to be considered real.
“Other People Deal With It Just Fine”
Everyone’s sensory tolerance is different, shaped by their unique brain wiring. Comparing one person’s response to another’s ignores this reality and enforces unrealistic expectations. What one person can endure, another cannot—and shouldn’t be expected to. This kind of ignorance only fosters shame.
“You’re Being Difficult On Purpose”
Judgment rewrites pain as defiance, turning a cry for help into a character flaw. Imagine drowning—and being told that you splashed water for attention. That’s what this phrase does. It twists overwhelm into drama. Instead of support, it delivers blame.
“It’s All In Your Head”
Even if it’s in their head, so is everything—emotion, thought, sensation. The body reacts instinctively, yet others suggest it’s fictional. Internally, confusion brews—if it’s unreal, why does it hurt? This phrase doesn’t reveal the truth—it compares pain to imagination.
“It’s Just A Phase”
Brushing it off as “just a phase” can cause long-term damage. Neurological patterns don’t fade with time. They respond to care. Ignorance of early signs delays necessary help and allows discomfort to grow roots in a child who needs validation, not dismissal.
