Lisa O
First dates can be exciting, nerve-wracking, and full of potential. It’s your chance to make a great first impression and see if there’s a real connection. But saying the wrong thing can quickly turn a promising date into an awkward disaster. To help you navigate your next date smoothly, here are 15 things you should never say on a first date—unless you want it to be your last.
“So, why are you still single?”
It might seem like a harmless question, but it can put your date on the defensive. No one wants to feel like they have to justify why they’re single as if it’s some kind of personal failure. People are single for all sorts of reasons—timing, career focus, personal growth, or just not meeting the right person yet. Asking this can make your date feel awkward or like they have to explain something that shouldn’t need an explanation.
“My ex used to…”
Nothing kills a first date faster than bringing up your ex. Even if the story is neutral or positive, your date doesn’t want to feel like they’re being compared to someone from your past. Talking too much about an ex can send the message that you’re not over them, which is a red flag. Even if you had a bad breakup, save the ex-talk for when you’re in an actual relationship—not when you’re just getting to know someone.
“How much money do you make?”
Unless you’re both investment bankers trying to impress each other, asking about salary on a first date is a huge turnoff. It makes you seem materialistic or like you’re sizing up your date’s financial worth rather than getting to know them as a person. Money talk can feel transactional and uncomfortable, especially when it’s too early to be discussing finances.
“I Googled you before our date…”
Let’s be real—most people do a little online research before meeting someone new. But saying it out loud makes it creepy. No one wants to feel like they’ve been stalked before they even sit down. Bringing it up might make your date feel exposed, judged, or uncomfortable. Instead, let the conversation flow naturally without making them feel like they’reunder surveillance.
“You remind me of my mom/dad.”
Even if you mean it in a good way, this is an instant mood-killer. No one wants to be compared to a parental figure when they’re trying to be seen as an attractive potential partner. It can make things feel weirdly familial rather than romantic and might make your date second-guess your intentions.
“I think soulmates are a myth.”
It’s totally fine to have different opinions on love, but dismissing romance altogether on a first date can come off as cynical or jaded. If your date is more of a romantic, saying this can make them feel like you’re not open to deep emotional connections. Even if you don’t believe in soulmates, there’s no need to crush the romantic vibes before they even start.
“I want to get married and have kids ASAP.”
Being clear about what you want in life is great, but coming on too strong about marriage and kids on a first date can be overwhelming. No one wants to feel like they’re being interviewed for a life plan instead of being seen as an individual. Even if long-term commitment is important to you, first dates should be about seeing if there’s chemistry and shared values—without jumping straight to wedding bells.
“I hate dating.”
Even if you’re tired of swiping through endless profiles and going on bad dates, complaining about dating makes you seem negative. Your date doesn’t want to hear about how much you hate being there—they want to see if there’s chemistry between you two. If you’re burned out from dating, take a break rather than venting about it to someone new.
“You look different from your pictures.”
Even if it’s true, pointing it out is rude and unnecessary. If you’re disappointed, be polite and focus on the conversation. If it’s a dealbreaker, end the date respectfully rather than making them feel self-conscious. Mentioning it might make your date feel insecure or embarrassed, even if you don’t mean it negatively. Stick to compliments rather than critiques.
“I still live with my ex… but it’s totally over.”
This is an instant red flag. Even if you swear it’s just a temporary situation, most people will hear, “I’m still emotionally (or physically) involved with my ex.” If you’re in the process of moving on, wait until that’s settled before jumping into new dates. It signals unfinished business and potential drama, which no one wants to get involved in.
“I don’t really have any hobbies.”
Saying you don’t have hobbies or interests makes you seem boring and uninspired. Even if you don’t have a specific passion, talk about things you enjoy—whether it’s movies, travel, food, or random trivia. Showing curiosity about life makes you more attractive. A lack of hobbies can make your date wonder if you’ll be a dull or passive partner.
“I don’t believe in therapy.”
Mental health stigma is fading, and therapy is widely seen as a positive tool for self-growth. Saying you “don’t believe in therapy” can make you seem closed-minded or emotionally unavailable. Even if it’s not for you, respect that it’s importantto many people. A dismissive attitude toward self-improvement or emotional health can be a major turnoff.
“I don’t really want a relationship.”
If you’re not looking for anything serious, be upfront about it—but don’t waste someone’s time if they are. If you’re only interested in something casual, make sure your date is on the same page before leading them on. Nothing is worse than realizing you’re on completely different wavelengths halfway through a date.
“My family is crazy.”
Everyone has family drama, but airing all your personal issues on a first date can be overwhelming. Oversharing too soon can make you seem emotionally heavy or like you have unresolved issues. Keep it light, and save the deeper conversations for later. Instead, share fun or interesting stories rather than diving into heavy family conflicts.
“So, are we going back to your place or mine?”
Unless the date has clearly been mutually flirty and leading in that direction, this can come off as pushy or inappropriate. Let things unfold naturally rather than assuming there’s an invitation for the night. Being overly forward can make your date feel uncomfortable or disrespected—not exactly the impression you want to leave.
