Lisa O
Just because someone’s over 60 doesn’t mean they’ve lost their sense of humor, confidence, or independence. But people often say things that come off as dismissive, condescending, or just plain awkward. Whether it’s about aging, appearance, or assumptions about lifestyle, these comments can sting more than you think. Here are 15 things you should avoid saying to a woman over 60:
“You look good… for your age.”
It may sound like a compliment, but adding “for your age” turns it into something else entirely. It implies that beauty and age can’t exist together and that looking good past a certain age is some rare miracle. Most women over 60 know how to carry themselves, take care of themselves, and feel confident—and they deserve compliments that don’t come with a disclaimer.
“Do you really need that at your age?”
Whether it’s a bold lipstick, a tattoo, or a trip halfway across the world, no one wants to hear that their interests or decisions need age approval. This kind of comment assumes older women should stick to some quiet, invisible role. But women over 60 have earned the right to do what makes them happy—no explanation or permission required.
“You’re too old for that.”
This phrase has a way of shutting people down in the most patronizing way. Whether it’s about what someone wears, where they go, or what they choose to pursue, no one should be told they’ve aged out of joy. Life doesn’t have a finish line for dancing, dating, or dreaming. Saying this doesn’t come off as helpful. Instead, it sounds limiting and judgmental, which no one appreciates.
“Aren’t you retired yet?”
Not every woman over 60 wants, or can afford, to retire, and asking this assumes there’s only one right way to live after a certain age. Many women still love their careers or have passions they’re not ready to give up. This question makes it sound like working past 60 is a problem when for some women, it’s a source of pride, purpose, or even freedom.
“You probably don’t know how to use that.”
Whether it’s a smartphone, tablet, or any piece of tech, don’t assume older women are clueless. Most have learned to adapt, download, and navigate like anyone else. This comment feels like you’re talking down to them, and nobody wants to feel underestimated. If someone needs help, they’ll ask—but plenty of women over 60 can teach you a thing or two about technology.
“You don’t look your age.”
This is meant to sound nice, but it suggests that looking your age is a bad thing. Why should a woman be expected to hide or fight the natural signs of aging? Aging isn’t a flaw—it’s a sign of a life lived, lessons learned, and strength gained. Compliment her glow, her style, or her energy instead of tying beauty to youth.
“You’re still single?”
Questions like this can make someone feel like they’re behind or broken, as if being single later in life is some failure. Some women choose to stay single because they enjoy their independence, while others may be healing from loss or just not interested in dating again. Either way, relationship status isn’t a measure of worth, and it’s nobody else’s business.
“Don’t you get lonely living alone?”
Living alone doesn’t always mean being lonely, and assuming it does misses the point entirely. Many women over 60 enjoy their own space, their peace, and their routines. They’ve raised families, shared homes, and now relish the freedom of doing things on their own terms. Instead of assuming loneliness, try asking about what they love most about their lifestyle—you might be surprised by the answer.
“You should let your hair go gray.”
While many women embrace their natural gray, others feel better with color—and both choices are valid. Telling someone what they “should” do with their hair, especially based on age, crosses a personal boundary. Hair is about self-expression, not age-based rules. Let women make their own beauty choices without unsolicited advice disguised as encouragement.
“Isn’t that a little young for you?”
Whether it’s a dress, a hobby, or a playlist, women don’t need age-appropriate approval to enjoy what they love. Tastes don’t have expiration dates, and fashion doesn’t come with age warnings. This kind of comment tries to put people into a box, and most women over 60 have spent decades breaking out of those boxes. Let them enjoy what makes them feel alive.
“You’re not one of those older people who drive slow, right?”
This may be said as a joke (with good intentions), but it still reinforces a tired stereotype. Not every woman over 60 is a slow, cautious driver. Some are more confident behind the wheel than people half their age. It’s a reminder that age doesn’t automatically mean decline, and assumptions like this can feel like subtle digs at independence and ability.
“You don’t seem like a grandma.”
People often say this thinking it’s a compliment, but it usually just reveals narrow ideas about what grandmothers look or act like. Grandmothers aren’t a one-size-fits-all group. They can be stylish, bold, active, and full of surprises. Instead of acting shocked, embrace the fact that older women can be multi-dimensional and still full of spark, whether they have grandkids or not.
“Isn’t that a bit risky at your age?”
From starting a business to learning how to ride a motorcycle, women over 60 are doing more than you’d expect. Telling them something’s “too risky” sounds like a polite way of saying, “You shouldn’t try.” But the risk doesn’t disappear just because you’re older. If anything, many women become bolder with age because they’ve stopped caring what other people think.
“You must miss being young.”
While everyone feels nostalgic now and then, assuming older women are stuck longing for their youth isn’t fair. Many are happier now, with more freedom, self-acceptance, and fewer pressures. They’ve learned what matters and have let go of a lot of the nonsense that made their younger years more stressful. Age isn’t something to mourn. It’s something to value.
“At least you had your time.”
This one can feel like a gut punch. It sounds like you’re saying their best years are behind them, and now they exist to look back. The truth is that every stage of life brings new chances for growth, love, laughter, and adventure. Women over 60 still have plans, passions, and plenty of time to make memories. Don’t write them off—they’re far from done.
