Lisa O
Moving in together at any age is a big step, but after 60, it comes with its own set of challenges. It’s not about sharing a home—it’s about blending lives in a way that feels fulfilling and comfortable for both partners. So, to help you with that change, we’re sharing 15 things you should consider before moving in together after 60.
Are You on the Same Page About This Move?
It’s easy to assume that moving in together means the same thing to both of you, but have you had a real conversation about it? Are you doing this for love, friendship, financial reasons, or a mix of all three? If one person sees this as a step toward marriage and the other sees it as a practical arrangement, you might be headed for misunderstandings. Before picking out furniture, make sure your intentions align.
How Will You Handle Finances?
By this stage in life, you’ve both likely managed your own money for decades. But now, you need a plan. Will you split expenses 50/50, or will contributions be based on income? Will you merge bank accounts or keep finances separate? And what about big purchases—who pays for what? Money can be an uncomfortable topic, but getting it out in the open now can prevent resentment later.
What Happens to Your Stuff?
Blending two households means dealing with double the furniture, cookware, and sentimental items. Do you keep both coffee makers? Which couch stays? What happens if both of you are attached to the same bookshelf? Downsizing together can be fun, but it can also be emotional—especially when certain objects hold memories. A good rule of thumb? If it’s meaningful to your partner, try to find a place for it.
Do You Have Compatible Lifestyles?
You love early mornings with a cup of coffee and a newspaper. Your partner prefers sleeping in and watching TV until midnight. These little things might seem minor, but over time, they can cause friction. Are you neat while your partner is messy? Do you need quiet while they like background noise all day? Instead of assuming you’ll “adjust,” talk about daily routines and how you can make the transition smoother.
What’s the Plan for Household Responsibilities?
Gone are the days of arguing over whose turn it is to do the dishes—right? Not necessarily. If one of you is used to hiring help for cleaning and the other prefers doing everything themselves, that’s a conversation to have. Will you split chores evenly, or will one person handle cooking while the other takes care of yard work? Having a plan prevents those small daily annoyances from turning into big frustrations.
How Will Your Families React?
Adult children and even close friends may have opinions—some supportive, some skeptical. Will your kids worry about financial implications? Will your grandkids be excited to have another grandparent figure? While you certainly don’t need their permission, acknowledging their feelings can ease tensions. Reassure them that this decision is about your happiness, not replacing past relationships or disrupting family traditions.
What Are Your Plans for Alone Time?
Just because you’re living together doesn’t mean you need to be together all the time. Everyone needs personal space, whether it’s a room for hobbies, a quiet corner for reading, or separate TV preferences (because not everyone enjoys crime dramas!). Do you need occasional solo vacations? Scheduled “me time”? Talk about it before either of you feels suffocated.
Have You Talked About Health & Caregiving?
This might not be the most romantic topic, but it’s one of the most important. If one of you has a health condition that could worsen, is the other willing to take on a caregiving role? What happens if mobility becomes an issue—will you need to modify the home? And if a health crisis happens….who makes the medical decisions? Having a plan in place now avoids stress down the road.
Where Will You Live?
Your house? Their house? A brand-new place? Each option has its pros and cons. Maybe you should make a list to see what works for you. Think about the practical factors—location, cost, accessibility. If stairs might become an issue in the future, is a single-story home a better option? Make sure your home fits both your needs now and years from now.
What Legal Aspects Need to Be Addressed?
If you’re not married, certain legal issues can get tricky. What happens if one of you gets sick or passes away? Will you have the right to stay at home? How will assets be divided? Creating a cohabitation agreement and updating wills ensures that both partners are legally protected. We know it’s not the most romantic conversation, but you have to have it as it’s one of the most necessary.
How Will You Handle Disagreements?
Every couple argues—but the main thing is how you resolve it. Do you shut down and avoid conflict, or do you talk things through? What are your deal-breakers? Some disagreements will be over small things (like how to load the dishwasher), while others may be more significant. Having a healthy way to work through conflicts is essential for a happy home.
How Do You Feel About Pets?
You adore your dog, but your partner isn’t a pet person. Or maybe you have a cat, and they’re allergic. Pets are part of the family, and moving in together means deciding if they’re part of this new family. If one of you has never had a pet before, are they willing to adjust? How will you handle pet care responsibilities? These things might seem small until they become daily realities.
What Role Will Social Lives Play?
Are you someone who loves hosting friends and family, while your partner prefers quiet nights at home? If yes, then it’s going to be a problem. If any one of you thrives on social interactions and the other values privacy, striking a balance is crucial. Will you have a designated “social night” to entertain? Do you need separate time with your own friends? Defining these boundaries ensures that both partners feel comfortable.
Are You Both Emotionally Ready?
Moving in together after 60 often comes with emotional layers. If either of you has lost a spouse or lived alone for a long time, adjusting can be harder than expected. Are there lingering attachments to past relationships? Does one of you fear losing independence? Maybe seeing your new partner in place of your previous one makes you sad. Being emotionally ready is just as important as being practically prepared.
What Happens If It Doesn’t Work Out?
No one likes to think about this, but it’s an important discussion. If things don’t go as planned, do you have a backup plan? Who moves out? How will finances be handled if you’ve merged assets? What’s your plan B or C? Having a clear exit strategy doesn’t mean you expect failure—it means you’re being smart about your future.
