Lisa O
Boomers have been through it all—cultural revolutions, tech transformations, and economic roller coasters. But they hear some comments all the time that brush off their experiences or undervalue their contributions. What might seem like a harmless remark can actually come across as dismissive or disrespectful. Here are 20 things you should never say to a Boomer.
“Okay, Boomer”
It might be the internet’s favorite meme, but “Okay, Boomer” is more than just a joke—it’s a total conversation stopper. What younger generations see as harmless banter often comes across as dismissive and patronizing to Boomers. Now, it’s Boomers who find themselves on the receiving end of ageism, with millennials and Gen Zers taking shots at them for their so-called generational sins.
“Why can’t you just retire already?”
Retirement isn’t as simple as it used to be. For many Boomers, things like rising healthcare costs and longer life expectancy have made retirement more of a dream than a given. Even those who can afford to stop working often keep going for personal fulfillment, mental stimulation, or social connection. Asking why they’re still working overlooks these realities and can come off as ageist.
“You wouldn’t understand technology.”
Although they didn’t grow up with smartphones, Boomers have had a front-row seat to the digital revolution. They’ve adapted to everything from personal computers to social media. Why don’t we appreciate their willingness to learn? You’ve seen it yourself: your mom asking you to set up her Facebook profile or your dad asking you to teach him how to watch YouTube videos.
“You don’t understand how hard things are for us.”
Every generation faces its own set of challenges, but assuming Boomers can’t relate to today’s struggles overlooks the hardships they’ve already been through. From dealing with economic recessions and job insecurities to raising families during times of political and social upheaval, Boomers have certainly faced their fair share of difficulties.
“It’s your generation’s fault.”
It’s easy to point the finger at Boomers for big issues like climate change, housing crises, or economic inequality, but that misses the bigger picture. Many of these problems have deep roots that go across multiple generations, and solving them takes a collective effort. Blaming Boomers as a whole overlooks the contributions they’ve made toward progress, from leading civil rights movements to pushing technology forward.
“You shouldn’t be driving anymore.”
For many Boomers, driving is a symbol of independence, so suggesting they give it up can feel like an attack on their autonomy. While safety is definitely a valid concern, bringing it up with age-based accusations rather than specific observations can come off as ageist. If you’re truly concerned about their driving, it’s important to approach the conversation with care and empathy.
“Stop complaining about your aches and pains.”
Aging brings its own set of physical challenges, and Boomers often cope by talking about them. While it might come across as repetitive or even frustrating sometimes, dismissing their concerns as whining shows a lack of empathy from your end. Their aches and pains are real, and ignoring them can make them feel isolated.
“You’re out of touch with reality.”
While their views may differ from younger generations (like Gen Z), that doesn’t mean they’re “out of touch.” Many Boomers stay informed and engaged, whether it’s through the news, social causes, or community involvement. Instead of assuming they can’t relate to modern issues, try asking for their opinion—you might uncover insights that expand your own understanding.
“You had it so much easier than us.”
It’s tempting to look back at things like cheaper college tuition or more affordable housing and think Boomers had it easy. But that viewpoint overlooks the context of their challenges, from limited career opportunities for women and minorities to the stress of supporting families during tough economic times. Every generation has its own struggles.
“Why are you so obsessed with phone calls?”
For Boomers, phone calls aren’t just a habit—they’re a deeply rooted way of connecting. Unlike texts or emails, phone calls allow people to connect immediately and interact personally. Now, that’s something Boomers value a lot. Mocking their preference for calls ignores their comfort with a method of communication that’s worked for them for so many years.
“We don’t do it that way anymore.”
Your way isn’t the only way to do things, and saying their methods don’t work can make it seem like older methods are outdated. Boomers might have valuable insights into why certain processes worked well in the past. Instead of dismissing them, invite collaboration by combining traditional wisdom with modern approaches for a more well-rounded solution.
“You’re so lucky to have had it easy.”
Boomers have lived through recessions, stagflation, and many political upheavals. Many of them worked long hours to buy homes or start businesses. Assuming their lives were simple overlooks all the challenges they faced. Ask about their struggles—you might find some inspiring lessons there.
“Why are you still on Facebook?”
Facebook is still a key platform for Boomers, offering a way to stay connected with family and friends. While younger generations may favor newer apps, Boomers use Facebook to nurture relationships and keep up with events. Every platform has its purpose—so let’s respect theirs. The fact that Facebook is still going strong shows it remains a competitive platform.
“That’s a millennial thing; you wouldn’t get it.”
Excluding anyone from cultural conversations only deepens divides. Boomers may enjoy many of the same things as younger generations—whether it’s streaming shows, discovering new music, or enjoying memes. Inclusion brings joy and shared laughter. Now, imagine if Boomers said, “That’s a Boomer thing you won’t get.” How would that feel?
“Why do you watch the news so much?”
Boomers grew up in a time when the news was a trusted source of information, and many still turn to it to stay informed. Their habits show they really value staying engaged with the world. Ask them about the stories they find most interesting, or ask them to share the news of the day. You’ll be amazed at how they can break down key events in a simple, clear way.
“You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”
This saying is not only outdated but also incorrect. Many Boomers are learning new things every day, whether it’s coding classes or yoga. Focusing on their adaptability encourages a positive approach to gaining new skills. And speaking of dogs, even old dogs can learn new tricks—all they need is a little love and patience from your side.
“You don’t understand mental health like we do.”
Mental health matters—no matter your age. Whether you’re a child or 70 years old, taking care of your mental health is important. While discussions around mental health have evolved, dismissing Boomers’ perspectives overlooks the progress made in their time. Many are open to learning about modern approaches, so start a dialogue instead of making assumptions.
“You’ll never change.”
Telling someone that they’ll never change is rude and incorrect. You don’t know where they are coming from. This is especially true with Boomers. They stick to certain traditions and values, but that doesn’t mean they’re incapable of growing. Change is a process, and people take time to adapt to changes around them. Be patient.
“You won’t be around to see it.”
This offhand remark dismisses Boomers’ concerns about the future, acting like their age makes their opinions irrelevant. For many, caring about things like climate change or social justice isn’t about how it affects them personally—it’s about leaving a better world for future generations. Brushing off their advocacy ignores the responsibility they feel and the legacy they want to build.
“You’re so stubborn.”
What younger generations might see as stubbornness, Boomers often view as sticking to their principles. Their values were shaped by years of life experience. While they might not always match up with today’s norms (which is normal), calling them inflexible is oversimplifying things. Instead of labeling them as stubborn, understand where their beliefs are coming from.
