Lisa O
Being single is not a problem to be solved, yet people often treat it as one with their unsolicited advice, prying questions, and awkward comments. Whether intentional or not, these remarks can come across as judgmental or patronizing. If you’ve ever caught yourself about to comment on someone’s relationship status, here are 15 things to avoid saying and why they’re better left unsaid.
“Why are you still single?”
On the surface, this might seem like a compliment, implying the person is so amazing that it’s shocking they don’t have a partner. But beneath it lies the assumption that being single is a flaw or failure that needs explaining. People are single for many reasons these days, and this question puts them on the spot, making them feel like they need to justify their personal choices or circumstances.
“You’re just too picky.”
This phrase trivializes a single person’s standards, as if settling for anyone who shows interest is a better option. Having preferences, values, or boundaries isn’t being “picky”—it’s a healthy approach to finding a meaningful connection. Suggesting someone is “too picky” dismisses their agency and implies that their expectations are unrealistic or unworthy of respect.
“Don’t worry, you’ll find someone soon.”
While meant to be comforting, this assumes the person is worried about being single or actively seeking a relationship. Many single people are happy, focused on their own goals, or simply taking life at their own pace. Offering reassurance for something they might not even view as a problem can come off as tone-deaf.
“You’ll never meet anyone if you don’t put yourself out there.”
This implies that a person’s relationship status is entirely their fault for not trying hard enough. It disregards their efforts, personal choices, or even the possibility that they’re not looking for a partner right now. Everyone has their own timeline, and no one owes anyone an explanation for how they live their life.
“You must be so lonely.”
This comment projects the idea that being single equals being unhappy or isolated. In reality, single people often have vibrant social lives, fulfilling careers, and strong support systems. Loneliness isn’t exclusive to singlehood—it’s a feeling anyone can experience, regardless of relationship status.
“Have you tried online dating?”
While this question might seem helpful, it assumes the person hasn’t thought of or tried modern dating methods already.For many, online dating is a frustrating or exhausting experience, and bringing it up can feel like unhelpful pressure rather than support.
“Aren’t you worried about running out of time?”
This comment, often aimed at women, ties their worth to societal expectations about marriage, children, or milestones tied to an arbitrary timeline. It’s invasive and insensitive, reducing their entire life to a ticking clock. People have different priorities, and many find fulfillment in ways that have nothing to do with traditional timelines.
“Maybe you’re just not trying hard enough.”
This one stings because it implies the person’s single status is a result of laziness or a lack of effort. In reality,relationships aren’t a reward for trying harder—they’re about timing, compatibility, and mutual effort. Not everyone feels the need to be in a relationship, and that’s perfectly okay.
“You should settle down already.”
This assumes that the person’s life is incomplete without a partner, which is both dismissive and outdated. People lead rich, full lives as singles, and the idea of “settling down” is a personal choice, not a societal mandate. Pressuring someone to conform to traditional expectations is unnecessary and intrusive.
“You’ll find someone when you stop looking.”
While this might be meant as encouragement, it comes off as a lazy cliché. It suggests that their single status is somehow their fault for wanting a relationship too much, which can feel dismissive. Relationships aren’t magic—they require connection, effort, and timing, not passive waiting.
“You’re lucky—you don’t have to deal with relationship drama.”
This comment might sound positive, but it undermines the challenges single people face, such as societal pressure, loneliness, or the effort of dating. While relationships can come with their own set of struggles, being single isn’t automatically a carefree or enviable existence.
“You must have so much free time.”
Assuming single people have abundant free time because they don’t have a partner minimizes their responsibilities, ambitions, and social lives. Many single people are busy building careers, pursuing hobbies, or spending time with family and friends—being single doesn’t mean being idle.
“You’re too independent for a relationship.”
This backhanded compliment frames independence as a flaw rather than a strength. It suggests that being self-sufficient or confident makes someone less desirable, which is both outdated and untrue. Independence is an asset, not a barrier, to a healthy relationship.
“Don’t you want kids someday?”
This question assumes that everyone’s ultimate goal is to have children, which isn’t true for everyone. It’s a deeplypersonal decision, and bringing it up can make single people feel judged or pressured. Whether or not someone wants kids has nothing to do with their current relationship status.
“You’ll regret being single later in life.”
This comment implies that happiness and fulfillment are only attainable through a relationship, which is far from true. Many single people live incredibly rewarding lives, filled with achievements, friendships, and personal growth. Suggesting they’ll regret their choices minimizes their ability to find joy on their own terms.
