Lisa O
It’s easy to think that once the vows are exchanged, the work is done. But in reality, that’s where the real relationship begins. While nobody expects perfection, certain behaviors simply don’t belong in a healthy, grown-up marriage. Here are 10 things men should stop doing once they’re married.
Acting Like They’re Still Single
Getting married means stepping into a new chapter, and not dragging your bachelor habits along for the ride. Late-night outings without communication, secretive texting, or treating plans like solo missions sends a clear message: “I come first.” That doesn’t mean you should lose your identity or abandon your friends, but your actions now affect someone else.
Avoiding Emotional Conversations
Shutting down or brushing things off with a “we’re fine” doesn’t solve problems—it just delays them. Emotional avoidance creates distance, not peace. Your wife needs more than surface-level chats. She needs to feel heard, safe, and connected to your inner world. Marriage thrives on emotional vulnerability, not emotional silence. If you’re uncomfortable expressing feelings, that’s something to work on—not to avoid.
Expecting Her to Do All the Household Work
Gone are the days when women were expected to manage the home while men “relaxed.” A modern marriage is a partnership—not a reenactment of 1950s gender roles. If she’s working too (and even if she’s not), the dishes, laundry, cooking, and childcare aren’t just her job. Stop “helping” as if it’s optional, and start taking ownership of the space you share.
Taking Her for Granted
One of the biggest mistakes men make after marriage is letting appreciation fade. The thoughtful gestures, affectionate words, and time you once gave freely start to dwindle, and she notices. Love isn’t just something you feel; it’s something you do, again and again. Compliment her. Ask how her day was. Thank her, even for the little things. Marriage isn’t about maintaining the spark once a year—it’s about keeping it alive every day.
Prioritizing Everyone Else First
It’s great to be a loyal friend, devoted son, or hard worker. But if everyone else always gets the best of you while your wife gets what’s left, something’s off. Your time, energy, and emotional availability should reflect your commitment. Saying “yes” to everyone else while consistently saying “not now” to your partner erodes trust. A strong marriage means putting your relationship on your priority list. She shouldn’t have to compete for your attention.
Flirting With Other Women
“Harmless” flirting isn’t harmless when you’re married. It sends the wrong message—to the woman you’re flirting with, to your partner, and to yourself. Marriage calls for emotional fidelity, not just physical. If you’re seeking validation from other women, it’s time to ask why. Jokes, compliments, or playful touches that would bother you if reversed shouldn’t be part of your behavior.
Checking Out During Conflict
Disagreements happen in every relationship, but how you handle them defines the strength of your marriage. Shutting down, walking away, or refusing to engage only leaves your wife feeling unheard and alone. Marriage isn’t about avoiding conflict. It’s about learning to work through it together. Yes, take a moment to cool off if needed, but always return to the table ready to talk.
Comparing Her to Other Women
Few things cut deeper than hearing you admire someone else more, especially when it’s used to point out her “flaws.” Whether it’s comparing her to an ex, a coworker, or some fantasy online, it sends a message that she’s not enough. Remember, you married her for a reason. If something’s missing, talk about it. But don’t weaponize comparisons as motivation. Praise builds trust. Criticism disguised as “truth” builds resentment.
Keeping Score
Marriage isn’t about 50/50. It’s about 100/100. Tallying chores, favors, or who apologized last turns love into a business transaction. When you constantly measure who does more, you’re not serving your relationship—you’re protecting your ego. There will be seasons where one of you gives more, and that’s okay. What matters is the trust that both of you have. If something feels unbalanced, talk about it.
Neglecting Self-Improvement
Just because she said “yes” doesn’t mean you get to stop evolving. Whether it’s mental health, communication, health, ambition, or emotional maturity—keep working on yourself. Complacency is quiet poison. When you take pride in becoming a better man, not just for her but for yourself, you show her she’s worth the effort. And you remind her she chose someone who doesn’t just love her but also loves becoming better for her.
