15 Boomer Habits That Come Off as Rude Today

What once seemed polite or normal can feel out of place today. Many habits that boomers grew up with don’t quite land the same way anymore. What used to be friendly or helpful may now come off as intrusive, out-of-touch, or inconsiderate. Here are 15 habits that often clash with how younger generations navigate respect and communication today.

Asking people about their salary.

Many boomers grew up with open conversations around income—part curiosity, part comparison. But today, that same question feels invasive. Younger people see money as private, and asking about salary during casual conversation can trigger discomfort or pressure. Unless someone offers that information themselves, bringing it up can feel like crossing a personal boundary, even if the intent was just to make conversation or show interest in their career.

Showing up unannounced.

Dropping by without a heads-up used to be friendly, spontaneous, and even expected in some communities. These days, though, it’s more likely to feel like an intrusion. With busy schedules and a preference for privacy, people now expect a text or call before someone shows up at their door. It’s not about being cold—it’s about respecting space. What once felt neighborly now comes off as ignoring someone’s need for downtime.

Commenting on weight or appearance.

Phrases like “You look thinner!” or “You’ve gained a bit of weight” might once have been seen as observations—or even compliments. But today, these comments often land as rude or judgmental. People are more aware of how such remarks can affect mental health, and even positive comments can be loaded. There’s a shift toward complimenting someone’s energy, effort, or spirit instead of focusing on their physical body.

Offering unsolicited advice.

Many boomers give advice as a sign of caring. But unsolicited tips, especially on parenting, careers, or relationships, can feel like overstepping. Younger generations prefer to ask for help when they need it. What’s meant as guidance often feels like judgment, especially if the advice isn’t grounded in the listener’s lived experience. Supportive listening goes a lot further today than well-meaning but unsolicited fixes.

Using speakerphone in public.

Years ago, using speakerphone in a store or café wasn’t seen as a big deal. However, today, it’s considered disruptive. People value quiet in shared spaces and don’t want to overhear someone else’s personal or business calls. With earbuds readily available, there’s an expectation to keep calls private. Broadcasting a conversation feels inconsiderate now, no matter how short or important the chat might be.

Making generalizations about “kids these days”.

Boomers might mean no harm when they say things like “No one wants to work anymore,” but younger people often hear it as a lazy stereotype. These broad comments ignore economic shifts, changing job markets, and evolving values. They can make younger generations feel misunderstood or unfairly judged. Today’s world is different, and assumptions based on the past don’t always reflect present-day realities.

Assuming shared beliefs or values.

Boomers often speak openly about religion, politics, or personal opinions, assuming others are on the same page. In today’s culture, that can come off as presumptive. People now expect sensitivity and openness around differing beliefs. What used to be safe topics in certain circles may now feel divisive or unwelcome. Many younger people prefer conversations that leave room for different life experiences and values.

Telling people to “smile more”.

This was once a common way to show kindness or encouragement, especially toward women. But now, telling someone to “smile” feels like policing their mood or behavior. It implies that others are owed a certain expression, even from strangers. Modern social norms recognize emotional autonomy, and people prefer to express themselves genuinely without the pressure to look cheerful when they may not feel that way.

Using outdated or insensitive terms.

Some words or phrases that were widely used decades ago are now seen as offensive or inappropriate. Boomers might use these out of habit, not realizing the impact. Language evolves, and what was once normal can now signal ignorance or disrespect. Being open to correction and updating vocabulary is seen today as a basic sign of empathy and social awareness—not political correctness, but simple consideration.

Criticizing someone’s parenting choices.

Boomers often share how they raised their kids as a way of helping. But parenting norms have changed, and what worked 30 years ago may not apply now. Critiquing modern approaches, like screen time limits, gentle parenting, or diet rules, can come off as undermining. Young parents often feel judged instead of supported. Offering to help rather than compare makes for a much more welcome interaction.

Telling others to “toughen up”.

“Just deal with it” was a common attitude in boomer households. But younger generations now prioritize mental health and emotional openness. Dismissing someone’s struggles with a line like “you just need to be stronger” feels invalidating. It’s not about coddling—it’s about recognizing that people cope differently. Listening with empathy, rather than pushing resilience, is more in line with today’s understanding of emotional well-being.

Asking about someone’s relationship status.

“What happened to that boyfriend?” or “Why aren’t you married yet?” were once casual questions. Now, they feel intrusive and pressure-filled. Modern relationships follow many paths, and personal timelines vary widely. These questions can make someone feel like they’re behind or doing life wrong. What feels like friendly interest to a boomer can come across as subtle judgment to someone younger.

Giving conditional gifts.

Boomers sometimes give gifts with an unspoken expectation—loyalty, praise, or compliance. But younger generations often see this as manipulative. They value clear boundaries, and a gift that comes with emotional strings can strain relationships. Today, the idea is that giving should be unconditional. If there’s an expectation involved, people prefer it to be discussed openly rather than attached quietly to a favor.

Mocking or dismissing new tech.

Jokes about TikTok or eye-rolls about streaming habits may seem lighthearted. But younger generations live in a digital world, and dismissing it often feels like a dismissal of their reality. Instead of joking that someone is always on their phone, asking what they’re watching or learning builds a bridge. Technology changes fast, but curiosity and respect always stay in style.

Interrupting or dominating conversations.

Some boomers are used to steering the discussion or speaking over others without realizing it. Today, that’s often seen as inconsiderate. People value being heard just as much as they value being understood. Cutting in or shifting focus can make others feel invisible. Modern etiquette leans toward equal space, where listening fully is just as important as sharing your own story.