Jace Lamonica
Friendship in your thirties isn’t about shared classes or late-night hangouts anymore—it’s about deliberate efforts to maintain connections that demand more than just a quick “How are you?”. These 10 simple yet powerful habits will help keep your bonds strong as days seemingly blur and calendars overflow.
Make Concrete Plans
Vague invitations have a tendency to fade and fast! Instead of “Let’s catch up sometime,” suggest a date and place. More often than not, people tend to follow through with plans when commitments feel real. A set plan minimizes the guesswork and strengthens friendships with reliability.
Make Follow-Ups To News
Remembering to check in after a friend shares difficult news or an exciting update reinforces that their experiences matter. One quick text or call shows attentiveness, not obligation. That extra step builds emotional trust and reminds them they were genuinely heard and not just momentarily acknowledged.
Be Honest When Something’s Off Between You
In friendships, transparency is a strength that signals maturity and emotional availability. If something feels off (missed calls, weird tone, flakiness, unreplied texts), be sure to communicate this in a kind manner. When you address discomfort directly, it helps prevent simple misunderstandings from taking root.
Don’t Keep Score Over Who Reached Out Last
Tallying texts can get tempting, especially when you feel like you’re always the one initiating the communication. However, friendship isn’t a ledger. After all, life can get busy, not to mention unevenly. The best approach would be reaching out to friends because you truly care and not because it’s ‘your turn.’
Check In Even When You Don’t Need Anything
No agenda? Perfect time to reach out. A meme, song lyric, or “This made me think of you” can bridge months of silence. Connecting with lifelong pals shouldn’t need a reason, just genuine intention. Such small gestures help keep the emotional thread alive, showing that even when life gets hectic, the bond still matters.
Respect Their Life Changes And Commitments
Adult friendships demand flexibility. When you get to thirty, you will most likely be trying to find a balance between work, family life, traveling, solitude, and more of life’s uncertainties. So, if your friend’s availability drops, understand their shift in priorities. Your adaptable mindset will help you preserve the friendship even during low-contact seasons.
Prioritize Quality Interactions Over Frequency
Seeing a friend monthly or quarterly can feel just as fulfilling as texting on a daily basis if the time you spend together is meaningful. While at it, be sure to engage in longer conversations, focused attention, and minimal distractions to ensure that these sporadic meetups feel more restorative and present.
Adapt To The New Ways Of Staying In Touch
Not every connection needs to look like a sit-down dinner—as friendship dynamics evolve, so should your communication methods. Whether voice notes replace texts or Zoom coffee chats replace in-person meetups, stay open to change. It really matters. Reduce undue pressure by finding a new groove to stay connected.
Offer Help When They’re Overwhelmed
You know that familiar feeling of reassurance you get when a bestie shows up for you? Well, extend the same to your friends, especially during stressful moments. It could be as simple as helping them clean up after they host a party. These gestures speak louder than check-ins alone, ultimately deepening your bond.
Let Go Of Unrealistic Expectations
Be open-minded enough to realize that friends cannot meet your every need. Expecting them to text daily, always agree with you, show up whenever a need arises, or never disappoint you sets the friendship up to fail. Just give the friendship some room to be imperfect, and don’t take disappointments to heart.
