Adrian Berlutti
The question seems innocent enough at first. Then it morphs into an inquisition—relatives, coworkers, even the occasional barista, all dying to know why you haven’t paired off. You could sigh and let it slide. Or you could drop one of these zingers, which are equally sharp and a little too relatable. Choose your favorite and watch them blink.
“I’m focusing on quality life over chaos.”
Great relationships don’t just happen; they’re cultivated, like fine wine or a great playlist. Why rush into something mediocre when you’re holding out for extraordinary? Let them know you’re curating your life, not cluttering it with emotional clearance items.
“Have you tried squeezing a social life into my calendar?”
Between chasing career goals, hitting the gym, and accidentally falling down YouTube rabbit holes at midnight, where exactly is this mythical dating time supposed to fit? You’re booked, busy, and blissfully prioritizing everything that makes you happy—minus the awkward dinner dates.
“No one’s worth my Netflix password yet.”
There’s a sacred trust in sharing a streaming account, and frankly, you haven’t found anyone who’s both binge-worthy and buffer-free. Until that changes, it’s just you, your algorithm, and a snack stockpile that doesn’t judge your viewing choices.
“Because I’m the plot twist in my own story.”
Every iconic tale has a lead who’s too busy slaying dragons or launching startups to worry about side characters. You’re not writing a rom-com; you’re crafting an epic. The romance chapter? It’ll happen when it’s pivotal, not predictable.
“Happiness isn’t waiting for a plus-one.”
Singlehood doesn’t equal sadness. It’s a conscious decision to be content rather than settling for someone who can’t spell “reciprocity.” You’re thriving solo, living proof that joy isn’t something another person completes.
“Dating apps? I swiped left on them.”
Wading through endless profiles feels like sorting junk mail, and you’ve opted out for now. Call it a sabbatical, a mental detox, or just self-preservation. You’ll be back—maybe. But right now, life’s too much fun to waste on generic openers and ghosters.
“Turns out I’m a fantastic company.”
Dinner for one? A delight. Traveling solo? A revelation. Choosing the movie and the snacks? Absolute bliss. You’ve mastered self-love, and honestly, you wish more people knew how awesome it is to enjoy their own presence.
“I’m saving a fortune on roses and regret.”
Relationships can be pricey—not just for your wallet but for your peace of mind. While couples are bickering over overpriced entrees, you’re investing in things that actually spark joy. Bonus: no awkward anniversary gifts.
“I’m allergic to settling.”
A lot of people chase relationships just to tick societal boxes, but not you. You’re waiting for a connection that feels as genuine as grandma’s handwritten recipes, not something staged for the highlight reel.
“Who needs romance when you have a loyal fur baby?”
Pets don’t cheat, judge your hobbies, or complain about your playlist. Whether it’s a cat who thinks your existence is tolerable or a dog who worships the very ground you tread upon, they’ve set the bar high for any potential human competition. Good luck to the contenders!
