Lisa O
Some relationships are risky and unhealthy right from the start. You may not have noticed the signs, but some things are shady from the beginning. We’ve all heard that many marriages end in divorce, and a big reason for that is things that were already going on in the relationship during courtship and dating. Here are 15 signs you should avoid marrying him at all costs.
He gets jealous over everything.
Some girls think jealousy is cute, but most of the time, it’s not. If you can’t have friends of the opposite sex or go to work lunches without your boyfriend “checking in” or getting upset, it’s time to take a step back and evaluate things. Maybe your boyfriend or partner isn’t just jealous—he might be a psychopath with some serious red flags.
He’s emotionally immature.
Another big sign is that you shouldn’t marry him if he’s emotionally immature. Marriage is about building a life together, so there will be a lot of ups and downs. You’ll want someone who can keep it together during this rollercoaster ride. Not someone who falls apart at the first sign of trouble. And let’s be real – communication is one of the main foundations of marriage.
You’re constantly fighting.
Do you find you can’t go a day or even a week without arguing with your partner? Do little things turn into big blowups? If that’s the case, it’s a pretty clear sign that you shouldn’t get married just yet. Arguing once in a while is fine, but it should be handled the right way and definitely shouldn’t happen every day. If it does, it’s a sign of a bigger issue in your relationship.
You haven’t been together long enough.
There’s no exact timeline for when you should get married. Some couples meet and get married within six months, while others date for a couple of years before settling down. That being said, we’ll say this – anything less than a year probably isn’t enough time to really get to know your partner. Even if you’re hanging out every day, certain habits only show up over time, like how your partner reacts when they’re stressed or going through something tough.
He doesn’t bring out the best in you.
Sorry ladies, no matter how charming or good-looking he is, if he’s not there to encourage and support you, it’s time to move on. Think about it this way: your future spouse will be by your side through every stage of your life. If they’re not your biggest cheerleader, it’s going to be a struggle! You may even lose yourself in the marriage, and that’s the perfect recipe for unhappiness.
You feel like you’re doing it because you have to.
You’ve got to do what’s best for you. Even if your partner says he’ll leave, so be it. That shows he wasn’t the right guy for you! Marriage is a huge decision; you should only take that step when you feel completely comfortable and happy with it. And just to add – a good guy who truly respects and loves you won’t pressure you into doing anything you’re not ready for!
You don’t agree on big life choices.
Where does he want to live in the future? Do you both care about the same things in life? If you haven’t had these important talks yet, it’s time to do it. Honestly, if you get married without asking these questions, you’re going in blind. That doesn’t mean you have to agree on everything, but both of you should be willing to compromise and get where the other person is coming from.
He tries to control how you look.
Telling you how you should dress or look without you asking is just unnecessary. He should love you for who you are. If he’s telling you not to wear makeup, to go easy on the eyeliner, or to change your style, watch out. He’s just trying to control you and what you do.
He’s abusive.
If your partner is already showing controlling or abusive behavior, they’re not going to change after marriage. We repeat: they will NOT change after marriage. In fact, their issues might get worse once you’re married. If they’re controlling now, they might feel like once you’re their wife, they get the last say over you. Please, don’t stay with an abuser, no matter how much you think there’s some good in them deep down.
He has addiction problems.
Addiction can mess up the lives of everyone around the person, including you. As their wife, you’ll end up picking up the pieces, and you may even start enabling their addiction. And last but not least, don’t try to fix your partner. Weddings and marriage can be stressful, which might just make their addiction worse. They need professional help—that’s the best way to go.
You’re more excited about the wedding than the marriage.
If you’re more focused on the wedding than the person you’re marrying, don’t go for it. Forget about the pretty white dresses for a minute and think about what your life together will really be like. It might feel disappointing, but trust us, you’ll be even more disappointed if you spend all this cash on a big celebration and end up paying for a divorce a year later!
He doesn’t get along with your friends or family.
If no one you care about likes him, it’s time to ask yourself: Why? Is there something you’re missing? Maybe it’s time to take off the love goggles and see things the way everyone else does (especially if they’ve got your best interests at heart). And on the flip side, If he doesn’t like any of your friends or family, why’s that? Is it because he wants to control you? Manipulate you?
You don’t trust him.
Imagine spending your life with someone you don’t trust. That would be a nightmare. So, if the issues are small enough to work through, get some counseling and see if you can sort them out before getting married. And if not? You need to think long and hard about whether this is the right person for you! Trust is the base of any relationship, especially marriage.
He’s not a team player.
Marriage is all about teamwork. It’s not just about doing things 50/50. Some days, you’ll handle 80%, and other days, he’ll pick up the slack. It’s about compromising and supporting each other, even when things get tough. But if he’s not a team player, won’t do what’s best for the relationship, or won’t take responsibility for himself, you’re in for a tough ride.
You can’t be your true self around him.
If you don’t feel like you can show all those unique sides of yourself around your partner, that’s a pretty clear sign you shouldn’t marry him. Let’s be real, after a few years of marriage, it’s going to be hard to keep up an act. The real you will come out, and he might not like it. On the flip side, if he’s trying to change you and won’t let you be yourself, that’s another sign he’s not the one.
